worth the trouble?
Is it really really worth it? It's almost like this whole thing takes more energy from me than it provides me with.
So my question for myself is: Is it worth it? Do I have the energy to cope with the annoying stuff?
I mean, it doesn't have to be like this. I know that. What I don't know is whether or not it's the uncertainty of it all that's getting to me or if it's not just that...
Although, something I do know is that I can't bare things beeing the way they are for very much longer.
Hard to believe that security could be such a factor. But it is. At least for me.
And that's another thing...now that I'm aware of my patterns I can't help but wonder how much of this that's in my head. Yet, this is not a relationship that strengthens me and boosts my confidence. Not right now anyway. And I am not in any way obligued to put myself through this if it isn't rewarding.
And I deserve a good relationship. Not just some weird gray zone between single- and togetherness.
Why are easy matters of the heart so complex?
